Post by Milah on Jan 24, 2016 6:29:23 GMT 1
Faith. That was something she had to go on. Even though it had hurt. Even though it meant she had hurt someone who she wished to never have. Baelfire. Not a day went by that she did not regret the choices that she had made. Even though, she did not regret meeting Killian and believing in that love; she did regret leaving her son alone with Rumple. That belief was the one thing that kept her going, as she sailed the seas. The belief that she would one day be reunited with her son. Someone that deserved more than what he had gotten. But that belief would be short lived as when she had tried to hold onto something that was good and pure, it was falling apart. Had been ever since she had realized that her marriage to Rumple was a sham. The love there wasn't nearly as strong as she hoped for. He was too afraid of the consequences. Always afraid of something. Of moving on, of moving forward. Perhaps that was why their marriage failed. Or perhaps because she couldn't see through to the "forever" that a marriage was supposed to be. For her she wanted to be able to see the world, not be trapped in the village she and Rumple lived in. She thought having a family with him, would be nice. But the reality of it was something altogether different.
Her heart and mind were in two separate spaces. In the reality of it, she knew that she needed to be there for her son. But at the same time how could she stand being stuck in a place she'd hated? In a place where they were all branded as cowards? She had asked Rumple multiple times before leaving if he would be willing to relocate, and he was not. Perhaps it was because he was comfortable. Perhaps it was because he was afraid. Whatever the reason was, she was sick of it. Ending that marriage was perhaps the hardest but yet in some ways the easiest choice she had ever made. Despite knowing it meant leaving something that was much harder. Losing out on a chance to see her boy grow up. But even when she and Hook had discussed taking Neal with them, there wasn't time. And with that she had made her choice. A choice that haunted her from the moment it was made.
Having lived a life on the sea, she had loved every ounce of it. Never had she imagined she could feel as strong as she did when she was on the Jolly Roger. Everything about it felt right. Felt easy. But; sometimes the memories were hard to escape. Killian gave her the way to be strong, to be as passionate as she had wanted to be. She had been a lousy mother. There was no denying it. As much as she had tried over the years. She was haunted by the choices she'd made. Even though she tried to bury it within, it was always there. The last memory she had...had was being on the Jolly Roger and speaking with Hook when Rumple had come. Rumple had taken her heart, taken it and had crushed it. That last memory would forever haunt her. As would the last time she had seen her son.
That morning she had left the comforts of the camp in the woods, a place she'd been living at since coming to this town. It was far easier than dealing with most people and plus it had an excellent view of the sea. Something she'd always craved and missed after she'd died. It did not seem real that it had been so many years since her death and yet it was obvious that it had been. But today she was rather hungry. And although she did not have much she had hoped to keep things going. To find out where she was and even more so find out when she was in. As after all time was a fickle thing. Looking towards the town she gathered up what courage she had to explore it. Memories haunted her as she walked through the town, being haunted by the ghosts of the past that killed her. She had explored various shops, met a few of the townsfolk but had mostly kept to herself. She finally entered a shop, that smelled of delicious food. Which was something compared to what she'd been able to find out in the woods. But this particular shop seemed quiet, and yet something about it seemed warm. There were few patrons inside, one that seemed familiar as she scanned the young man's face. And then soon she walked further inside and moved toward where he was seated. "Excuse me, is it okay if I join you?" She asked softly, knowing it was perhaps....the wrong thing to ask but felt it necessary. She just wanted to make a friend, unaware of course that the man she would be sitting across was none other than the son she had left all those years ago.
Her heart and mind were in two separate spaces. In the reality of it, she knew that she needed to be there for her son. But at the same time how could she stand being stuck in a place she'd hated? In a place where they were all branded as cowards? She had asked Rumple multiple times before leaving if he would be willing to relocate, and he was not. Perhaps it was because he was comfortable. Perhaps it was because he was afraid. Whatever the reason was, she was sick of it. Ending that marriage was perhaps the hardest but yet in some ways the easiest choice she had ever made. Despite knowing it meant leaving something that was much harder. Losing out on a chance to see her boy grow up. But even when she and Hook had discussed taking Neal with them, there wasn't time. And with that she had made her choice. A choice that haunted her from the moment it was made.
Having lived a life on the sea, she had loved every ounce of it. Never had she imagined she could feel as strong as she did when she was on the Jolly Roger. Everything about it felt right. Felt easy. But; sometimes the memories were hard to escape. Killian gave her the way to be strong, to be as passionate as she had wanted to be. She had been a lousy mother. There was no denying it. As much as she had tried over the years. She was haunted by the choices she'd made. Even though she tried to bury it within, it was always there. The last memory she had...had was being on the Jolly Roger and speaking with Hook when Rumple had come. Rumple had taken her heart, taken it and had crushed it. That last memory would forever haunt her. As would the last time she had seen her son.
That morning she had left the comforts of the camp in the woods, a place she'd been living at since coming to this town. It was far easier than dealing with most people and plus it had an excellent view of the sea. Something she'd always craved and missed after she'd died. It did not seem real that it had been so many years since her death and yet it was obvious that it had been. But today she was rather hungry. And although she did not have much she had hoped to keep things going. To find out where she was and even more so find out when she was in. As after all time was a fickle thing. Looking towards the town she gathered up what courage she had to explore it. Memories haunted her as she walked through the town, being haunted by the ghosts of the past that killed her. She had explored various shops, met a few of the townsfolk but had mostly kept to herself. She finally entered a shop, that smelled of delicious food. Which was something compared to what she'd been able to find out in the woods. But this particular shop seemed quiet, and yet something about it seemed warm. There were few patrons inside, one that seemed familiar as she scanned the young man's face. And then soon she walked further inside and moved toward where he was seated. "Excuse me, is it okay if I join you?" She asked softly, knowing it was perhaps....the wrong thing to ask but felt it necessary. She just wanted to make a friend, unaware of course that the man she would be sitting across was none other than the son she had left all those years ago.